Quick offload: No Man’s Sky isn’t going straight to the pool room

I knew something was wrong when my wife didn’t want to explore the galaxy in No Man’s Sky when I offered. “No thanks” she said, “let’s watch Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure“.

And after two days with the game I was about ready to watch its bogus sequel.

Planet one was a boring mess of a place that had me trek 30 minutes to shoot a rock and collect a mineral. Not that I minded at the time; every grand journey starts with a monotony of sorts. Just read The Fellowship of the Ring. But Lord of the Rings didn’t have seven hours of Hobbits piss-farting around in the Shire. Sure you’ll travel the galaxy and see new things, – but in No Man’s Sky you’ll never feel like you left Bag-End.

Perhaps it’s my fault.  I made the mistake of taking No Man’s Sky out for a game of Pro Evolution Soccer 2016. But when I picked up the cover and reflected on my first few hours with the game I didn’t want to put it back in. And from there it went straight to the back of the shelf where it’ll probably sit gathering dust forever after.

I don’t want to labour on if the game is objectively good or bad. So here you go: No Man’s Sky is utterly boring. Whether fifteen blokes situated somewhere in Guildford made the game or not is completely and utterly irrelevant. I’ve seen teams of five model entire economies and teams of two review multiple-hundreds of pages of legislation. Video games aren’t magical. They’re not special. And making them isn’t any harder than any other job on the planet. And if they’re treated and critiqued as if they are then we’re all missing the bloody point.

In short: No Man’s Sky isn’t going anywhere near the pool room.

Quick Offloads are short posts when we need to get things off of our chests but don’t necessarily want to waste too many words on them. But please add your words in the comments below.

This isn't an animal...


  1. Excellent reference there. I think in missing out on The Castle, there is clearly a gaping hole in my life. I particularly liked the dad’s motorcycle helmet clock – some quality tat, there.

    But anyway, I’m still intrigued by No Man’s Sky. The beginning of the game seems to be somewhat of a lottery, which could mean you end up on some really boring planet or somewhere horrendously hostile – probably not the best way to draw in players. And it seems to really only appeal to people who enjoy exploring for exploring’s sake. Then again, I reckon I fall into that category, and I’m excited to give it a go… who knows, it might even end up in my pool room. If I had one.

    1. Here’s the thing; i love exploring too. I would walk Fallout’s wastes just for the sake of it, and the last couple of Far Crys, i’d throw in just to wander. I love it. But No Mans Sky’s planets just aren’t interesting.

Leave a Reply